Frequently Asked Questions

Quaestio mihi factus sum. [I have become a question unto myself.]
- Augustine, Confessions X.8.15

Why Am I Here
Probably because of a wayward link, or a foolishly worded search engine query. Maybe you slipped through an interdimensional portal like in that awful show Sliders.

Why Are You Here
Shits and giggles. Sublimation. Boredom. Radioactive amounts of unchanneled psychic energy.

What Time Is It
You can check that here.

Why Do You Write So Much Invective
Over the course of a day, little things add up: I get snubbed somehow, in some way; I lose something; I sleep through something important; I continually forget and misplace my priorities. It all adds up, is digested in my mind and, if not removed, causes ulcers and cancer. So I remove it. But because it's been stewing so long in my digestive system, it is transformed. Just like when a bulimic vomits out her meal, it comes out different. Worse for wear. Even, perhaps, tastier - because when you've been forcefed the excrement of a thousand goats, some mildly repellent vomit is a marked improvement.

What's Your Favourite Falklands War Protest Song
"Spirit of the Falklands" by New Model Army.

What's Your Nationality
Canadian of Manitoban descent. My father was a wandering Aramean.

Regrets
I've had a few.

What's With All The Excesses And Aberrations
I refer to E.M. Cioran: "Our excesses and our aberrations derive from our combat with unrealities, with abstractions, from our will to triumph over what does not exist - whence the impure, tyrannical, wandering aspect of philosophical works, moreover of any work at all."

Why "Head Wide Open" As A Title
I used the title because of its three connotations: an open mind, visible to the world; a head that has been split wide open by a forceful blow; and running towards an open space. All three interpretations are, in one way or another, what this site is all about.

Do You Believe What You're Saying
Yeah, right now but not that often.

What Do You Plead
Temporary insanity.

Will The Armenian Bashing Cease
Not for the foreseeable future. My plan is to continue my personal Armenia bashing until it reaches the level of global America bashing. I'll move on from there, country by country, until all the hatreds and prejudices of the world are at the same level. Then the universe will finally reach the perfect equilibrium where, since everyone hates everyone equally, it will no longer qualify as hate - but simply the misanthropic but morally equalized global norm.

Suppose A Lion Were To Eat A Man, And Then The Lion Would Drown And A Fish Would Eat Him Up, And Then The Fish Would Be Caught And A Man Would Eat Him, And Then The Man Would Be Burned And Turned Into Ashes. Whence Would The Creator Restore The First Man? Would God Do It From The Lion Or The Fish Or The Second Man Or The Fire Or The Ashes
I defer to Saadia ben Yosef al-Fayyumi (892-942 C.E.), the head of the academy of Sura in the 10th century, who ruled that God would restore the first man's body parts at the time of resurrection, and that this restoration would be no more remarkable than their original creation.

You On Point, Tip
All the time, Phife.

What Is The Best Answer To A Question Ever
Jean Chretien, answering a question as to what proof was necessary for Canada to join the Iraq war: "No, a proof is a proof. What kind of a proof? It's a proof. A proof is a proof, and when you have a good proof, it's because it's proven."

Who Or What Is ¡Benjaminista!?
¡Benjaminista! is a Central American revolutionary movement of one, formed by the less punctuated and more Hebraically-named Benjamin. It is a platform for his excesses and aberrations which, as previously elaborated, derive from his will to triumph over what does not exist. You are welcome to join the struggle.

Any Last Words
Sure, here are Benito Mussolini's: "Shoot me in the chest."

You Didn't Really Answer Anything, Did You
No.