Thursday, April 06, 2006

Mad Yet Strangely Compelling Armenian-American Charlatan Of The Day

Sorry Cher and assorted members of System of a Down, you'll have to wait your turn. Today's "Mad Yet Strangely Compelling Armenian-American Charlatan of the Day" is none other than...

Ridiculously-coiffed Prophet and Faith-Healer, Tofik Benedictus "Benny" Hinn! Let's listen to what this Man of God has to say:

"The Lord also tells me to tell you in the mid 90’s, about ’94-’95, no later than that, God will destroy the homosexual community of America. [audience applauds] But He will not destroy it – with what many minds have thought Him to be, He will destroy it with fire. And many will turn and be saved, and many will rebel and be destroyed."

Yes, you read that right. As early as 1989, Benny Hinn predicted the famous San Francisco Spontaneous Immolation epidemic of '94! But that's not all he predicted in 1989:

"A world dictator is coming on the scene. My! He's a short man. He's a short man. I see a short man who's a perfect incarnation of Satan. [speaks in tongues] Never in my life have I had anything happen like what's happening to me now! 'This man will rule the world. In the next few years you will see him. But not long after that you will see Me.'"

Spell-binding! It takes a true prophet to foresee the coming of Napoleon a mere 185 years after the fact. Oh Benny Hinn, what will you think of next? Let's fast-forward to 1997 to find out:

"Jesus is coming again within the next two years."

On second thought, let's not.

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