The Forbidden Fist

In Slate magazine Thomas Lacquer makes the bold assertion that fist fucking is the only sexual practice invented in modern times. Is this true? More likely we think we invented it because we're the only ones shameless enough to record it. When it comes to sex and violence, our ancestors have surely tried everything. How many times can you rape and pillage before you start trying new things out of boredom? It's atomic bomb logic, the lullaby of Faustian man - if it's possible, try it! Or as Bonnie 'Prince' Billy once sang, "If I could fuck a mountain, then I would fuck a mountain." If God forbid every sexual practice from the Garden of Eden but fist fucking, how long would it take before Adam fist fucked Eve? Or in Greco-Roman terms, before Prometheus slipped his fingers into Pandora's box? Given the boredom of immortality and the persuasiveness of the serpent, it's inevitable. We as finite beings only have so many parts, and if they don't seem to fit, we'll make them fit. Mother nature be warned.