Sunday, July 31, 2011

5 Things Women Unfairly Expect of Men

A feminist lists 5 Things Society Unfairly Expects of Men. They are: make money; win; be physically strong; fix stuff; get it up. I agree that society expects these things of men. As a fairly non-stereotypical male (i.e. I have no interest in sports or tools), I should be enlisting in the author's war against gender stereotypes. But I recognize something that the author, as a woman, is perhaps (willfully) blind to: it is not simply abstract "society" that expects these things of men, it's women.

Women want a man who is rich, physically strong, handy and virile. Whether such demands are fair or unfair, culturally or biologically based, makes no difference, practically speaking. They are as good as ineradicable. If women wanted men to change their goals, they would stop rewarding alpha males with sexual attention. But even feminists secretly seek alpha males. They justify it to themselves using the patina of irony. I recently heard a couple of modern women discussing a bad landlord. The one modern woman recommended to the other that she get her boyfriend to confront him. She said so in a knowingly ironic way, but the implication was clear: it's a man's job to be confrontational.

What feminists want is for men to "make money; win; be physically strong; fix stuff; get it up," but to also be sensitive (to her needs) and intelligent (in a non-threatening way). The word for this imaginary species is chimera. Given the choice between a man who is ambitious and assertive, or a man who is sensitive and intelligent, (and most men fall roughly into one or the other, not both, categories), the woman, even the feminist, will pick the former. Perhaps handsomeness allows some men to forgo male stereotypes and still get sexual attention, but for the majority of men, it's conform to society's demands or die alone.

Given that most men are libido-enslaved and not very selective, women have the luxury of playing around with gender roles and still being fawned over. But if a man of average appearance takes a feminist's advice and stops doing what society expects of him, he will be doomed to loneliness. Women, snidely disdaining lower-ranked males' advances, have no idea of what it's like to be unwanted. If the choice was celibacy or traditional womanhood, they would choose traditional womanhood. For most men, the choice is between celibacy or traditional manhood. And today, even traditional manhood - being a good provider - is often not enough, given the prevalence of the Mr. Right chimera.

Alas, gender expectations may be unfair, but women aren't attracted to whiners. I keep my head wide shut in day-to-day life, because I don't have the luxury of being a feminist.

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