I don't accept all the implications she draws, but I find Catherine Hakim's term "erotic capital" a useful one. Will Self writes:
Hakim endorses Schopenhauer's characterisation of the "striking effect" of young women's beauty and sex appeal, and gives us cross-cultural statistics to prove that not only is their "erotic capital" consistently greater than that of young men, but that it is also always undervalued: it is attractive young men who get the better jobs and secure the higher wages, attractive young men who end up being US president – regardless of their skin colour. This might seem counter-intuitive in a world seemingly plastered with images of this "striking effect", displayed in every possible state of dress and undress, but the strength of Hakim's analysis lies in the very crudeness of its metric. According to her, while young women may possess considerable charms, men's desire for them always vastly outstrips supply. The reverse is simply not the case: men are both less attractive to women, and markedly less desired by them, especially as those women grow older. What Hakim terms "the male sex-deficit" underlies both the ubiquity of female sexual imagery – as pornography, as marketing adjunct – and the persistent unwillingness of society at large to "valorise" women's good looks.
To tie this in with my previous post, 5 Things Women Unfairly Expect of Men: young women, on average, have more erotic capital than men. Thus they can more easily defy gender expectations and still receive attention from the opposite sex. As I wrote:
Given that most men are libido-enslaved and not very selective, women have the luxury of playing around with gender roles and still being fawned over. But if a man of average appearance takes a feminist's advice and stops doing what society expects of him, he will be doomed to loneliness. Women, snidely disdaining lower-ranked males' advances, have no idea of what it's like to be unwanted. If the choice was celibacy or traditional womanhood, they would choose traditional womanhood.
I also found confirmation of my earlier post, Gays Have It Easy, in a responding comment to Self's article:
As a straight man, my many gay male friends never seem to experience sexually fallow periods. If not with a partner and even when heart-broken, they have plenty of fun, consensual sex that is often temporarily emotionally and socially rewarding. My experience when single is the reverse. There is no straight 'Grinder'.
Gay men are free to defy gender expectation because they possess greater erotic capital in the eyes of other men. Much straight homophobia is no doubt latent resentment of the social freedom coupled with sexual cornucopia that gay men possess. Such social freedom/sexual fulfillment is unavailable to straight men who are doomed by the biological lottery to be attracted to women.
The business-oriented straight male will conform to social (read: feminine) pressure to make up for his lack of erotic capital. He will strive to become one of those alpha males feminists love to castigate almost as much as they love being fucked from behind by. He will work to achieve a high-paying job so women will pay him notice - and then be scorned for contributing to the gender wage imbalance. How dare he seek capital capital to make up for his lack of erotic capital, when women should rightfully have their share (the majority) of both.
The passion-oriented straight male will reject social (read: feminine pressure) to conform to alpha male status. He will sublimate his sexual frustration into fanatical dedication to an art or science. If he is extremely gifted or lucky, his efforts will pay off (literally) and he will achieve erotic capital as well. He will then be scorned for contributing to the gender genius imbalance. How dare he seek artistic/scientific success to make up for his lack of erotic capital, when women should rightfully have their share (the majority) of both.
Of course, capitalism being what it is, most men will simply be failures, without even the feminine option of living by and through their mate's success.
That "gay" also means happy is no coincidence.
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