Saturday, June 26, 2010

My Free Speech Zone


I'm direct linking because I believe in community control over resources.

Living not too far from Toronto, I've seen the above poster plastered about town. Now as far as our Dear Leaders go, I agree with Jarvis Cocker:

Well did you hear, there's a natural order
Those most deserving will end up with the most
That the cream cannot help but always rise up to the top
Well I say, "Shit floats"

If you thought things had changed
Friend, you'd better think again
Bluntly put, in the fewest of words:
Cunts are still running the world

But I still won't be participating in any "Free Speech Zone."

Indigenous sovereignty and self-determination? Injuns already run their reserves like third world fiefdoms.

Migrant justice? My grandparents were migrants and they didn't need pastey white cunts speaking for them.

An end to war and occupation? War and occupation are coeval with human existence. Be specific for Chrissakes! But if you mean an end to the occupation of Iraq and Afghanistan, I agree: it's not the West's job to fight for the indigenous sovereignty of Kurds, migrant justice for displaced Marsh Arabs and an end to the Taliban war on women. But it's the attitude of idealist assholes like you that put us there in the first place.

Climate justice? As a Canadian, I agree: we deserve hotter winters!

Income equity? Why rob the poor of the one thing they have to struggle for, and make them slaves to their iPhone like everyone else?

Community control over resources? Show me anything in North American life resembling a community and I'll agree that "community control over resources" does not just mean the displacement of corruption from the private to the public sector.

I'm all about attacking the roots, but you motherfuckers are branches of the same rotten tree.

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

The G20 Welcoming Committee Of 1

Toronto is "welcoming the world" to the G20 summit. Here's my Hamilton welcome.

SOUTH AFRICA: Your country is only successful because of white people.
MEXICO: You peaked with the Aztecs.
UNITED STATES: Your gulf deserves to die.
ARGENTINA: Still masturbating over fascist trophy brides?
BRAZIL: Asses and soccer does not a country make.
CHINA: Why do you need so many people?
JAPAN: Your womenfolk dress like cartoons and your menfolk sit in their closet-sized rooms masturbating to tentacle porn.
SOUTH KOREA: Kim Jong-il has more personality than you.
INDIA: If your country's so great, why are you all moving here?
INDONESIA: Your plethora of islands is matched by your lack of accomplishments.
SAUDI ARABIA: If your women weren't so ugly they wouldn't have to wear bags over their heads.
EUROPEAN UNION: Belgium writ large. And not even Belgians like Belgium.

Sunday, June 20, 2010

The Problem With Modern Justice

The problem with modern justice: no one is hanging from a lamppost for the oil spill. I'm not saying the American government should execute the management of BP. I'm saying the management of BP should do the honourable thing and commit ritual suicide to atone for their failure.

I don't want to live in a shame-based culture. But I don't want to live in a shameless culture either.

Friday, June 18, 2010

When National Socialism Comes To America, It Will Arrive With Tig Ol Bitties

Something else Katy Perry has in common with Hitler (besides pretending to like girls and slagging Lady Gaga):

Katy Perry helps launch Volkswagen Jetta

Saturday, June 12, 2010

Cousteau Says

There are plenty of fish in the sea, but most of them are cunts.

Wednesday, June 09, 2010

Poem For Heidegger

Cuntface moustache
with your whiskers in Hannah Arendt's snatch
Holderlin is boring
You'd wipe out spastics if you had the chance!

Heidegger you're a small man
riding Nietzsche's moustache
"Being" is just another word
for nothing left to say

Heidegger you're a right prick
wishing you were Greek
I found your precious Heimat
buried in shit and six feet deep

Tuesday, June 08, 2010

Terra Delenda Est

The World Cup: one more reason to hate the world.

Thursday, June 03, 2010

V Is For Vagina



Queers against Israeli Apartheid, meet Homophobes for Western Naifs.